Do you want some time with that?

There was a time when I had some.

(Note: For the images, you may need to click on them to see the details.)

This is my personal calendar for a week from last year:

A Week - Home - Last Year

This is my personal calendar for the same week recently:

A Week - Home - This Year

This is my work calendar for a busy week:

A Week - Work - This Year

It’s pretty clear that my life has changed quite significantly since separation. The most recent calendar does take into account the reasonable expectation that it’s nice to spend some time with my new beau; some of those appointments include her.

In any case, it’s interesting how time and our perception of how much time we have changes…over time.

As youngsters, the days are long, the summers are endless, and time is to be frittered away.

As teens, the pressure builds. There is increasing homework, we consider college/university and cram more information into our brains. Friends add to the demands.

As college (university) students, it’s back to the heady days where time is as freely distributed as music on networks. Save for exams, the years at college aren’t pressured.

As new workers, we realize that free time has a price. Doing our jobs takes time, and requires us to be on time. But we benefit from the knowledge that when we leave work, all of the time is ours.

As couples, we discover that some of the after-work free time isn’t ours. There are lots of compensations and love and affection to make up for it, so it’s not a loss. But we discover that work on the house, or shopping for something useful for the house, or organizing dinners is time-consuming.

Then we have kids.

Time: All. Gone.

It doesn’t matter whether we want to walk together, sit and talk, or have wild monkey sex. Time has to be found by carving out chunks from an often-committed day. Some of the things we used to be able to do when we felt the urge (and let’s mention sex again here) can require some planning that spoils the spontaneity.

Then the kids grow up a little. They don’t need the constant attention, they sleep through the night, they play together and only occasionally murder each other. There is some free time. We are lavish with it. Freedom! Sex! OK, q-u-i-e-t sex, but still. Yay! Sometimes, if we’ve been smart enough to live near accomodating grandparents, there’s the chance to go away as a couple for a few days.

Then the kids get bigger: “Dad, can you drive me to school to pick up the music folder I forgot to bring home, then we need to go to the grocery store to pick up cookie dough for the party at school tomorrow, then can you drop me off at Sarah’s for the night?” And later: “Dad, could you bring me my toothbrush? Oh, and the face wash. Not that one, the special one, you know, with the thing on it. It’s a kind of an orange color. Where did I leave it? I don’t know. Don’t you know? Geez. It’s in the bathroom somewhere. Or somewhere else in the house. But I need it right now because we’re going to bed. Why are you yelling — were you doing something?”

Then you run away to somewhere remote, like Boulder. At least that’s my plan to avoid whatever’s next. It might get crowded if you all join me there in your own escape, so could some of you find somewhere else? Thanks. I hear Seattle is nice during the summer season.


About Single Dad

I married young. Now, after more than 20 years of marriage, 3 wonderful daughters, and many ups and downs, my wife has decided the marriage is over. The "About Me" and "My Background" pages on my blog have more details.
This entry was posted in Family Life, Humor, Separation and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Do you want some time with that?

  1. TikkTok says:

    Yep. And the sucky part is time speeds up exponentially the older we get, so if we don’t make an appointment, before you know it, a month or two or three have gone by and you are left scratching your head……

  2. momshieb says:

    But just remember that before you know it, all is quiet and they have moved on. And all that solitude and meaningful, sexy quiet time gets to be just a tiny bit…..boring! And you miss those “Hey, can bring me…..” moments. You don’t believe it now, but its true!

    • movingon2012 says:


      You’re absolutely right of course. The post just isn’t as funny if I give the complete story.. 🙂

      When my oldest went to college, I was lonely for weeks after she left. She’s back at home for now and part of my too-busy problem, but I know deep down (even if I won’t say it here) that I’ll miss her again when she leaves in May.. 😦

  3. backonmyown says:

    Busy, but happy. That’s a good way to be. You’re sounding better and better. I’m glad. 🙂

  4. Kelly says:

    HA! This is so true! I was just thinking I swear I am busier now than when I was working.

    • Moving On says:

      You have a tiny baby. Way more time-consuming than a job. Of course, I consult to the Government, so I have even more free time than most.. 🙂

  5. Boulder? That sounds great. I’ll see if I can fit you in. Right now I have to take Sabrina’s flute to school because she forgot it and then Bryn has a dentist appointment….

  6. Sorry, only just catching up with you. You are SO right – quiet sex (yep). My mother-in-law lives with us now as she needs support, so we have a 95 year old and a 17 year old in the house – life is complicated to say the least. In desperate times, when my son is playing computer games, I offer my mother in law a sherry = 30mins of peace. Bliss 😉

    • Moving On says:

      Hi MSHIT,
      If giving your mother-in-law a sherry yields 30 minutes of peace, perhaps a good shot of strong Scotch would give you a whole hour? Oh my…

  7. Pingback: Do you want some… ? | Four is a Family

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