Yesterday, I whined and complained about the issues I had when getting my Green Card.
Today, I regale you with my current and up-to-date whines and complaints. No more of these stale old tales. Nope, just the breaking news.
Well, not completely of course.
I have decided I want to spread my wings and be more than just a working dad and a single parent. I want to share time with someone else. Finding that time is not going to be easy. Finding that time is actually very hard.
I know for a fact that a number of people reading this already know exactly what I mean. Working full-time and looking after kids of any age is a few measures beyond time-consuming.
As teens, my girls are not much better at cleaning up after themselves than they were as toddlers. In fact, they might even be worse. They get the concept of chores and do help out…but…their concept of completing a task on time and mine differ by a decade or so. For them, cleaning up dishes after cooking or eating is fine and they’re happy to do it sometime within a few days of said eating or cooking. Ummm, seriously? When I suggest in the gentlest terms that perhaps doing it Right Now is best, they have become very good at sighing, eye-rolling, and that quizzical look you give someone who you’re sure has an IQ below 75. When I use some additional decibels to get my way, the grumping and stomping around the house has some entertainment value for me but doesn’t do the light fixtures on the floor below any good.
Many separated and divorced parents have shared custody arrangements. Some are of the 50/50 variety. Some are of the ‘n’ weekends per month, plus some time over the summer, and special arrangements over the big holidays (like Xmas). I used to think it must be terribly lonely when the kids aren’t there. Now I read phrases like “guilty pleasure” from parents talking about those times when the kids are with their ex. I hear and see how others make use of those times to be themselves and live a little and organize their lives. These days, that just makes me envious.
I love my girls, I really do. But it would still be nice to hand them off to someone else for a while. My weekend out West some time ago was a well-deserved break. I need more like that. Not necessarily a weekend away, but a weekend free of my three ‘time consumers’.
I need to do a few things:
- I need to catch up. I have important paperwork to process, bills to pay, and decisions to make. I have home maintenance and DIY tasks that I should work on because I might be selling the house next spring/summer.
- I need downtime. I hardly ever watch TV or movies anymore. I blog far less frequently than I used to. I write less.
- I want to socialize more. I see fewer friends at the moment, although I have a list of invitations to meet for coffee or drinks from a dozen neighbors and friends. I’d like to have a party for some local friends, but that takes time to prepare.
- I want to work harder. It might sound silly, but I’d like to get more done and I need to be able to work longer hours to do that.
- I’d like to meet someone special. More than likely, that special person would want to spend time with me. I doubt that helping me tidy the kitchen counts towards building a relationship.
- I’d like to get more sleep. To try and do some of the above, I’ve missed a lot of sleep this year.
I’m not unique in my situation. Not only are women statistically more frequently in my position, but often fare worse financially and struggle much more than I do. But I’m still going to have my own Pity Party anyway — bring something to eat and drink!