The breakdown of a relationship is no fun at all.
Those plans and ideas about a joint future are like suspended tendrils reaching out into the distance.
As the relationship is terminated, they all come crashing down, cut off at the source. And they just look silly lying there on the floor. You feel embarrassed because everyone around you can can see them. They can see what you’re NOT doing, what paths you WON’T take, and they can see it’s YOU not having that future anymore.
The tendrils are detritus that needs to be cleaned away before you can think ahead to something else. They block your path and your mind.
The clean-up process is painful. Especially if you’re the one left to clean up while your partner is off dancing in the moonlight, living another future.
Everyone seems to watch on balefully as you wind back and discard the vague and firms plans for the possible futures you designed together. Reeling each tendril in, you feel the pain of each incomplete and unfulfilled plan. You find some of the tendrils tangled with those of someone else or your ex-partner and you have to find ways to untangle them before you thrust them untidily into a trash can. You discover that the trash can isn’t big enough for all the tendrils and you have to look at them each day, even as you try hard to look somewhere else instead.
Eventually, the tendrils that once represented a future you both planned for rot away. They fit nicely into the trash can. You can put a lid on what is now that past and start gathering the raw materials to do it all again.
The good news is that eventually time passes, the detritus is gone, and you can see in color again. Your newly-healed heart is ready for its next adventure, you feel a stronger person again, and you try to make only mistakes that you haven’t made before. You definitely don’t want to relive the pain of any you can remember…