It’s time to roll out Mendelssohn’s Wedding March

This arrived recently, as a follow-up to a phone call:

Wedding Invitation

My best friend from high school is getting married (at last). He finally decided to be realistic.

When he was a teenager, he was like me: not gorgeous, not ugly, but ordinarily handsome in the way that young men who are in good shape can be. We look different and were attracted to different kinds of girls, and that was an obvious benefit — we never competed for the same girl.

One key difference between the two of us, even back then, was that he wanted to have it all. He wanted a girlfriend to be smart, funny, super-model figure, and so on. Well, sorry buddy, but (a) there’s not very many people like that around and (b) the ones that are tend to attract better guys. I was far more realistic and didn’t place the same premium on looks that he did. Even then, I tended to look towards a long-term relationship rather than a weekend of fun. I had serial relationships of a year or more typically. Each might have lasted a lot longer except for the mistakes of youth.

For my friend, however, relationships were more chaotic.

He would hit on girls that weren’t very interested in him. Sometimes he would be besotted and embarrass himself in the most hilarious ways at parties after he’d had a few drinks. As a drunk, he was so hopelessly imcompetent at chatting up hot girls that it saved him more than once from a beating by the present and watching eyes of the girl’s boyfriend.

If it had been a really long time since he had had a girlfriend, he would give up and hook up with almost anyone. When he got that desperate, he usually attracted needy women. After a drunken weekend of fun and needed release, he’d wake up to the reality that a needy girl was now following him around until he girded his loins and built up the courage to break up with her. Often it would be a month or two before he did that. During that time, the poor girl was getting the very definition of silent treatment and mixed signals that have been the subject of many blog postings here. His only compensation was that he was young enough that he didn’t realize what he was doing. Men of our age should know that by now.

As I said, he became more realistic over time.

The girl he will marry in a few weeks is a lovely lady. They both live in Sydney and she is a corporate lawyer. She has a great sense of humor that copes well with his idea that life should be lived in a completely relaxed and erratically unfolding way.

He was the best man at my wedding and it’s very disappointing that I cannot be at his wedding to return the favor. Unfortunately, traveling to Australia recently for my father’s funeral wiped out enough of my Air Miles that I cannot do it again. I am also low on vacation time and goodwill in terms of having other families look after the kids while I am away (as my runaway wife will not have anyone other than Charlotte to stay with her).

We share the same first name and I wish him every success in marriage. They have been going out together for almost a decade now and living together for half of that. I have confidence they will make it.

About Single Dad

I married young. Now, after more than 20 years of marriage, 3 wonderful daughters, and many ups and downs, my wife has decided the marriage is over. The "About Me" and "My Background" pages on my blog have more details.
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8 Responses to It’s time to roll out Mendelssohn’s Wedding March

  1. Caroline says:

    Sad for you that you can’t go.

    • Yes, it’s disappointing. My wedding was in England and he flew there on a few months notice at a time when money was shorter. I truly regret not being able to join him. Sometimes it sucks that, as adults, we don’t have the freedoms we had when younger but didn’t appreciate.

  2. Lost in France says:

    I can see that this invite has reminded you of fun times in the past.
    Sad that you can not make it, but he’ll understand.
    BTW, they did not give yo much notice, for you to organise travel to Australia, but perhaps that reflects on his laid back attitude to which you referred.

    • He originally had the wedding planned for the middle of 2012 but they’ve been going out for many years now and decided to trim it down to just close friends and move the date. For us overseas friends, only one can make it to the Big Day. He understands. After all, he’s the one that changed the date at the last minute!!

  3. ღ Amy... says:

    It’s great that you two are still good friends. To bad that you cant make it there, but totally understandable.

    Cheers to them!!

    • (See my response to Lost in France.)

      The nice thing about friends you know from childhood is that you retain a bond even as you move around the world and go on to do different things. In our case, it’s funny that we both ended up doing much the same thing — consulting to the Government on IT projects.

  4. backonmyown says:

    Sounds like your old friend has grown up. 🙂 I’m sorry you won’t be able to attend his wedding.

    Your ex is making a huge, huge mistake with the girls…and from what I can garner from your blog, with you, too. This will be a case of “too late sorry” as is so often the case.

    Be well.

    • Hi BOMO,

      I think there’s fairly universal agreement that my runaway wife is either making a big mistake with the girls or is ill/broken/depressed/pre-menopausal in some way. It really doesn’t make sense for someone who was once a good mother to the girls.

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