Before I begin…
Let me welcome a new subscriber, someone who I have discovered a lot of you already know: Thomas. He writes this blog (Morning Wood). I wonder how many of you are innocent enough to not realize what his blog title means? Anyone? Surely there’s *someone*?
Like most people, I tend to subscribe to and read some blogs, read comments on posts and add my own
insightful smart-ass helpful dumb comments, and click on the blogs of the other people that comment to see if they too might be interesting.
With only one exception, I ignore the blogs of all women in their 20s or younger. I ignore many blogs for women in their 30s unless they seem particularly appealing/funny/unique, or aren’t clear about their age. Other than that, I look for appealing/funny/unique or some combination thereof.
Using this criteria, I discovered Thomas’s blog some time ago. I was annoyed with something he wrote and made my concerns fairly clear. Instead of beating me up, however, he welcomed the dissenting viewpoint. Interesting.
He and I are polar opposites in some ways, and similar in others.
His blog, and this is relevant to my title today, is very different to mine. In the shadows, we call him “playboy Thomas” because his lifestyle is close to that. But I read some of his blog tonight and discovered there is an earnest business man and lawyer in there somewhere. Someone who works hard and plays hard. I still worry about some of the posts, but that’s my problem…
So, why does a blogger with little to do with me relate to this post?
First: My oldest daughter, Amélie, decided to raid my PC when I walked off from it without locking it. She searched my browser history until she found my blog. There’s an irrelevant long story about how she found about the blog in the first place. She decided she “needed” to see what I was saying about her. She doesn’t realize what an invasion of personal privacy this is. It happened a while ago, but I can no longer be sure it was a one-off visit to the blog.
This alone leads me to think about shutting down the blog. It’s not a family blog, it’s my highly personal commentary of the ups and downs of my current life, and I can’t be 100% certain that if I change the URL, she won’t find it again somehow (not via my PC — I have the screensaver come on quickly now).
Second: Style. I really don’t like the “me” that whines about how shitty life is at the moment, or how I am more volatile and pressured this year than in any other. I like to write in a humorous style. I like to write a funny comment or find a witty angle. I enjoy the posts where both I and any readers get some pleasure from my misfortunes, the dumb things I do, or the silly situations of Life. I gain a lot from the support I have received this year, but I feel like I need to work harder to stand tall and get back to ‘Funny Guy’ rather than ‘Leaning Guy’. This is where it relates to Thomas. His blog is waaayyyy more sex-oriented than mine, but setting that aside, the tone is stronger, the self-confidence is there. I don’t want to *be* Thomas or write in the same way. But I do want to write the funny stuff. If I can’t do that, I feel more of a burden than a relief to this community. And I hate being a burden on anyone.
So, soon, I will decide whether to close down and rely on friendly e-mails between new friends, or close down and lurk around with my virtual pen at the ready for a comment here and there, or change my URL completely (along with all identifying names and searchable text) and hope for the best. There are other options, like a private blog or password protection, but that closes off the chance of any new readers signing up and the natural ‘churn’ of an environment like this automatically means a dwindling base.