Better than sex?

For someone on a visit to Australia for his dad’s funeral, this might strike you as an odd topic for a post. You’re right and wrong. Let me explain.

First, some administrative stuff:

All of my flights were on time. The executive lounges are the best place to wait for flights; wish I could use them all the time. Sitting in the first row on a long-haul flight is super-quiet. The nice guy next to me and I chatted for a while. We swapped travel horror stories, then he slept for almost the entire flight (I don’t think it was because of our conversation).

When I finally arrived in Melbourne, my aunt was a little late getting to the airport. Oh well, more time to sit. Except the wicked people who designed the Qantas Arrivals lounge decided that seats aren’t needed in a place where almost everyone there for more than a few seconds is waiting for someone’s flight to arrive and disembark.

We drove south into Melbourne and then out all the way down to Mornington, where my mum lives. My brother had arrived from the outback and so we had a relaxing lunch. For a winter day, the sun was out, the day was warm, the wind was a just a light breeze, and we were indoors and outdoors, enjoying the time together.

With lunch over, my aunt drove me back to her house, a little further south in Mount Martha. And this is where the highlight of my trip took place. The thing I had been wanting to do for hours and hours. A long and hot shower. After all the flying, oh yeah baby — better than sex!

Now you see were where the title comes from. Now I’ll explain why it’s not inappropriate.

On the flights here, I had a lot of time to think. I wrote the first draft of my dad’s eulogy (I may post it when I’ve finished; I haven’t decided yet).

As part of reading through his memoirs, I asked myself what would HE say if he were giving the speech. I had a revelation.

I realized that he would stand up and tell everyone to stop being unhappy, that he had a great life and lived many more days than he ever expected to. (This is stuff I should put in the eulogy, by the way).

When my extended family arrived for dinner at my aunt’s place, we talked about my dad. It’s only just over a year since my aunt’s husband died (let’s call him Jacques) and so this is the second time they were dealing with unexpected loss together (I couldn’t come back for that funeral). They all decided that my dad would say approximately what I said above. My dad and Jacques used to spend hours ‘arguing’ over all kinds of things; they never fought, they just saw life differently and kept all of us amused for many a night as they bickered humorously over politics, science, religion — all the big topics many of us avoid. Both of them brought life to any of our gatherings.

So I finish with the thought that my dad loved to find humor in life and would definitely appreciate the titillating title of this post. He grew up on British and Irish comedians who made a living from laughing at the most uncomfortable things in life. Death. Religion. Mothers-in-law. He reveled in life and so I will stand up later today and be respectful, but remember him as someone who wanted all of us to *live* and enjoy everything we can and not be down for any longer than we need to be. As it happens, that is a very good lesson for me personally right now.

Thanks dad, I needed to be reminded of that one.

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About Single Dad

I married young. Now, after more than 20 years of marriage, 3 wonderful daughters, and many ups and downs, my wife has decided the marriage is over. The "About Me" and "My Background" pages on my blog have more details.
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24 Responses to Better than sex?

  1. Caroline says:

    Fantastic. He would have been proud of you. He sounds very similar to my Dad. And my Dad’s favourite saying was “Enjoy the Journey” so with that in mind I hope you do (well as best you can)
    Good luck later today and I love the title of the post – very appropriate
    xx

  2. Online Dating Circus Expert says:

    It sounds as if you figured out the perfect things to say. I hope it went/goes well for you.

    • Thanks ODC!

      I made use of the line that he would “tell everyone to stop being unhappy, that he had a great life and lived many more days than he ever expected to” and there were supportive murmurings when I said it, so I think that went over well.

  3. mysterycoach says:

    This is excellent and definitely better than sex. πŸ™‚ I want people to dance at my funeral and laugh… miss me of course, but laugh and tell funny stories and just remember me. I think based on what you’re saying here, your dad may think the same way.

    • Should I clarify that the long and hot shower isn’t always better? Just after way-too-many hours since the last one. πŸ™‚

      I’m in agreement with you. I should update my own instructions to tell people what kind of music I want played (something upbeat), what kind of speeches (funny memories, dumb things I did), and so on.

      • mysterycoach says:

        hahaha! Okay well no I would agree with that completely LOL πŸ™‚

        I need to make instructions period. ugh… Music is a good idea… country music πŸ™‚ they’ll all have to listen to what I like the whole time. haha!!!

  4. backonmyown says:

    How lucky you are to have had him for your dad.

    • It’s funny how there are things you don’t appreciate until they are gone. I tried to appreciate my wife and the kids because I almost let it all apart in 1998. I’ve tried hard with my mum too. But I didn’t appreciate my dad in the sense that I didn’t understand him as well as I thought until I went to his funeral and heard other people talk about him, showing me sides of him I never knew were there.

  5. TikkTok says:

    I don’t want a funeral. Life is a vapor. The people who love me show it to me daily. If those that remain want a funeral for themselves, I won’t be around to complain.

    Glad you got release, er, clean. πŸ˜‰ And just think- despite all that anticipation, you can do it again soon! πŸ™‚ (Glad you landed and travelled safely!)

    • Hi TT,

      LOL — funny comments!

      You’re right about the funeral being more for the people left behind. It was a funeral, of course, but it brought my family closer together. And that was a very nice feeling.

  6. I am sorry to hear about your dad 😦 Celebrating life is always so much better in so many ways. We are so lucky to have the love we have in our lives for however long we have it. Your dad is smiling down…xoxoxo

  7. Lady E says:

    SD, you are amazing! Managing to find the strength to look at the bright side of life now, to laugh…I agree with Caroline, your dad would be so proud of you. Good luck for this afternoon. x

    • Thanks E!

      It will come as no surprise that, most of the time, I don’t feel amazing at all. Tonight I had to get dinner ready for the girls — and a spare one (staying for a sleepover) — and just ended up grumpy because I couldn’t any consensus. I shouldn’t let the small stuff bother me, but I do sometimes. If I can’t have my old life back, I want a new one that is easy to live!

  8. everevie says:

    Thank your dad for me too…I needed to read this today. πŸ™‚

  9. Surrey gal says:

    Be careful not to shock the relatives. Unless you can handle that! Whilst some people will understand that, some others may feel hurt or even offended if you joke at certain things. Once again, I’m so sorry about your dad 😦

    • I was in Australia, where swearing and jokes are easy to get away with. But…I did speak respectfully and left the jokes at home. It wasn’t the right time to be a comedian.

      And, thanks for your thoughts, as always…

  10. Pingback: The funeral | I think Divorce is likely

  11. Pingback: Back in North Virginia…where the world is falling apart | I think Divorce is likely

  12. wordsfallfrommyeyes says:

    Your writing’s great. It’s natural. πŸ™‚

  13. Pingback: The funeral | Four is a Family

  14. Pingback: Back in North Virginia…where the world is falling apart | Four is a Family

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