How much can a koala bear?

Up until a few minutes ago, I was on auto-pilot, numb to it, all rational and stable.

This morning, I was still in bed and only awake for a few minutes when the phone rang. My ‘aunt’ (cousin) called to ask me about arrangements for the funeral and to inquire whether or not I would be coming. They needed to know to arrange the date around my availability. I said that I expected to attend and I would check on flights today. It’s been exactly 16 years since this Australian citizen set foot in Australia. I had hoped my next visit there would be next summer with my girls.

After that, I had to deal with work (the Govt and my company), then the airlines, then a pre-interview for a project manager, then the team who is doing some work on the yard for me, then this, then that…and the day has continued at a frenetic pace. Part of me thought that if I didn’t stop, I wouldn’t have time to feel anything, and maybe I wouldn’t crumble.

I wasn’t even fooling myself.

I finally found time to stop and breathe. I sat down at my PC and, by chance, just a few minutes earlier Lady E had posted this for me: Near Enough

As the tears finally come, I take comfort in knowing that there are friends and family that understand not just about the loss of a father, but also about the larger nature of loss, including our significant relationships. I take comfort knowing that this support takes on a small share of the pain and makes it all bearable.

After all, this has been a very tough year, possibly the most difficult ever for me. My wife walked out on me and on the girls early this year. Now I’ve lost my dad too. Lady E, you and others help me find a reason to get of bed each morning and face another day. Thanks so much for your support.

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About Single Dad

I married young. Now, after more than 20 years of marriage, 3 wonderful daughters, and many ups and downs, my wife has decided the marriage is over. The "About Me" and "My Background" pages on my blog have more details.
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17 Responses to How much can a koala bear?

  1. backonmyown says:

    This is the first time I’ve visited your site. I found you through Lady E’s current post.
    I didn’t have to deal with distance travel when my mother died, but I lost her while I was still reeling from the loss of my marriage after my husband walked out. My heart goes out to you.

    • Hi Pat,
      I’ve seen your interesting comments on E’s blog. It sounds like the year you lost your mother was a tough one. It’s my turn, but I am hopeful that I’m done with the bad luck and things will look better soon. After I’ve finished my long and tiring journey.

  2. mysterycoach says:

    ((( Hug ))) To Lady E, that was beautiful.

  3. Lady E says:

    Hey SD, glad you liked the post, and glad to see so many bloggers are rooting for you. You are a very nice man, and at tough times like these, support can give you a glimpse of the high esteem real life & internet people hold you in too.
    xx

    • everevie says:

      I concur with Lady E, Sean. You were so kind and supportive of me during all my (pale in comparison) struggles…I hope I can return the favor.

      • Thanks Evie. (Although I think your struggles have been even harder than mine.) I have friends who have stepped in many small ways (for example, tonight we were all invited to share dinner with a local friend and stayed until after 11pm). The most important constant is that I have my girls with me. Occasionally I want to throw one out, or they want to throw me out, but we all love each other deeply and that bedrock of support at home has been crucial to me keeping it together this year.

    • *blush*

      (What more can I say)

  4. TikkTok says:

    {{{{hugs}}}} Hope you get time to breathe, and start to feel some measure of peace…..

    • Thanks again TT! Trust me on this…when I’m on the plane, I’ll have plenty of time to breathe. That trip to LAX and the next one to Australia is soooo long, I’ll have plenty of time for finding some inner peace.

  5. Caroline says:

    Hugs. I’m rooting for you. Tough tough times. Beautiful post Lady E.

  6. when it rains it pours.. I lost my job and caught my husband cheating (and lying about it) in the same month… then lost the house a few months later. The good news is that when you survive events such as this, you KNOW that you can handle anything/everything. You will get thru it, you will look back on it as a very hard time, but you will know that you survived it. And there isn’t a better feeling than that. You are in my thoughts. Wishing you the best.

    • Hi PP (btw … have you ever thought about how that sounds when said out loud?)

      This is a very kind update. Basically, if I don’t throw myself off the cliff by the end of the year, it means I have the strenght to survive anything else. Unless I’m an off-the-cliff kind of person. Fortunately, I’m not. šŸ™‚ But seriously, OMG, you had to go through some *really* tough times.

      I honestly believe that you, Evie, and some others have had much tougher times than I am having. In my case, through all the bad things, I have had my kids with me to ensure I’ve never felt alone. I think that has made a difference.

  7. Sending all the warm thoughts, warm tea and warm virtual hugs that I can.

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