Moving on to whatever comes next

The Lady E wrote about leaving England to move back to France in this post.

I can certainly sympathise with the mixed emotions that come from locking up a house to move on to something very different without any certainty about the outcome.

Fueled by hope and optimism, I left Australia to meet and marry the woman who has recently left, although I don’t regret that journey or the stress of adpating to a country so very different from Australia.

Concerned but hopeful, I traveled to the USA with a growing family, only to have IBM pull the carpet from under me and throw me into airplanes at the start of each week and wreck my marriage (for the first time).

Elated, I headed off for picturesque Bern, not far from our honeymoon spot in Interlaken, where I initially knew no German at all and had to buy food via pictures on containers and increasingly desperate hand gestures to butchers and bakers.

Confident, nay cocky, I headed off to Washington DC, only to have some terrorists attack it shortly after, and change the character of the place for a long time. The follow-on combination of anthrax attacks, snipers, a hurricane, monster cicadas, and other terrors spooked me.

Comfortable, years later, I sit here in bed, tapping away, with all of my girls fast asleep, wondering what’s next for me. Will I be able to stay here and grow old and wrinkly in the leafy suburbs in north Virginia? Will I be lured away by a new job? Or a new love?

Even as I wonder how final my separation is, I know that I have been through so many tough times, and lived and worked in many countries and cultures. I have loved and lost more than once and know that somehow I will find a way that works. I don’t know if I should feel so confident, but I do anyway. I’m sure things will fall into place over time. They always have. They will again.


About Single Dad

I married young. Now, after more than 20 years of marriage, 3 wonderful daughters, and many ups and downs, my wife has decided the marriage is over. The "About Me" and "My Background" pages on my blog have more details.
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16 Responses to Moving on to whatever comes next

  1. Grey Goose, Dirty says:

    Great post Sean. You will land on your feet. You will be happy. Who knows in what locale this will all happen, but you know that it will happen. So really, who cares where? πŸ˜‰

    • Since I have kids going through a school system, I have to give some thought to where for now. After that, it’s less clear. This is a very nice area to live and work, so somewhere else (or someone else?) has to be impressive for me to wander far…

  2. There is always a new adventure isn’t there?

    • You’re right. Always. And you can’t always figure out when. For example, as I mentioned in another post, before the Green Cards *finally* came through a year ago, I was soooo close to moving to Canada. I even had a neighborhood picked out in Vancouver (called, rather helpfully: North Vancouver). I still have a P.O. Box there and bank account. That’s how close it came. So, despite everything I’ve said, who can be sure what will happen in the future…

  3. No name says:

    Hey there, I admire your confidence!
    Could you FedEx me some, please? πŸ˜‰

    • You have already had the confidence to move from England after 12 years and a settled life there. Your break-up might be masking it at the moment, but it will bounce back and you’ll be skipping around Base Camp on Mount Everest!

  4. cateohara says:

    Hey Sean,
    Yes, you should feel the confidence and optimism. Confidence is sometimes the only thing that gets us through the tough times. Great pre-weekend post πŸ™‚

    • Awww, thanks! Good luck with your toast! Speaking in public, even for family and friends, is definitely one of those things where some confidence is helpful. πŸ™‚

      • cateohara says:

        It went beautifully, thank you! Very fun time celebrating my sister and her husband. πŸ™‚ I was relieved to discover, in writing the toast and in delivering it, that I am not at all soured on the love, romance, marriage thing at all. I found myself truly happy to be there and involved and able to happy for them with a very open heart.

  5. You should feel confident…life is constant change…but at the end of the day…things usually do work out.

    • Thanks Melissa. I know things don’t work out for everyone or all the time, but so far I have had a lucky life and am always grateful for all the good stuff that’s been thrown at me. And I’m always willing to look for the good stuff myself rather than just expect someone else to make my luck.

  6. Pammy Girl says:

    Better NoVa than southern Maryland. Really. Think about it. They have crappy drivers and they all shop in Arlington and Alexandria anyway.

    Life doesn’t go the way we always plan. Sometimes that REALLY sucks and at other times I realize that my plans are/were foolish and it’s probably a good thing life took a different direction. We’re all looking for stability and acceptance; DC is just a place.

    • Hey, an actual local person! Which is good…and just a little scary as my Super Secret Identity is in danger. πŸ™‚

      The basic info on your blog says you tried Los Angeles and moved back to DC. Both of these moves must have involved excitement, worry, and courage. Good on you for taking the chances. I know when I stepped off the plane many years ago in England with virtually no money, just hopes of a successful meeting with a penpal, I felt all those things.

      As you say, taking chances doesn’t always mean it goes as we plan (I will have to read your blog to find out why LA didn’t work for you). But look how much we learn by taking the chances that don’t work out. You’re right, at least with regards to me. Some people want wild time, adventure, freedom, but I’m not uncomfortable with “stability and acceptance”…

      Thanks for stopping by.

  7. Lucky you for having had so many great opportunities. And for having the courage to grab on to them πŸ™‚

    I was going to write a long thing about my own background, because I think you can relate to it. But I think I’ll save it for my own blog and hopefully you’ll feel like reading it there.

    For now, all I can say is you’ve had a lot of adventure and I’m sure there’s plenty of more to come. Dating will be one of them. And it sounds to me like you should be looking for a woman who wants to go on adventures with you, but perhaps more importantly who wants to find the adventure in everyday life.

  8. Pingback: There’s No Place Like Home | bornagainsingle

  9. Surrey gal says:

    Things always fall in place when the time for them. And I’m very happy that you feel confident – that’s a very good sign for the future!!

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